Gratitude for Small Things

My son called me today while I was meeting with my student intern. Although that meeting was already underway, I asked Linnaea if we might reschedule so I could step out and take the call. It’s been well over five weeks since I’ve heard Benjamin’s voice, and I’ll do just about anything to make sure I’m available to talk, even if it means re-doing a meeting over the weekend.

This is what work/life balance currently looks like for me—something I couldn’t even imagine years ago, when I handed my kids off to their father between classes, wondering if juggling teaching and parenting would ever get any easier.

It did, kind of. But now Benjamin is deployed, working on a Navy air craft carrier. He can only call when he’s in port, which means five or six week stretches when an email now and then is our only form of communication.

I follow his air craft carrier on Facebook, and they do a good job of updating the page, sharing the ship’s many activities. In every picture I look for Benjamin; even getting a glimpse in the background would be great. I haven’t seen him in the photos yet, though it is some comfort—a little, enough—just to know he’s there somewhere, probably cooking for thousands in one of the carrier galleys. Seeing those pictures is also surreal, knowing the child I’ve loved deeply for almost 21 years is an adult, on that massive boat, working hard.  

The life I imagined for him, and for us, is far different than what we have: me scrambling to answer the phone, Zooming with my grown son thousands of miles away. But I also feel deep gratitude for what we now have, and the affirmation that this moment together is providence, proof of God’s blessing.